Domestic Abuse

Domestic violence is back in the news and people are jumping on the post/blog bandwagon so I thought I'd throw my 2 cents worth in. 

My son's friend decided to turn the tables on what was being reported in the media and asked, on Facebook, if a woman was the aggressor, would a man be able to defend himself by "hitting back".
There were many answers. Most were to the tune of a man NEVER hitting a woman. NEVER, under no circumstances, not even in defense. 
Those answering the post were both men and women, eclectic in age, ethnicity, religion, and income levels.
My son posted, "My mom taught me that if a woman hits a man, she should expect to be hit by a man."
More comments posted with the same double standard of a man never hitting a woman.

I know that there are many who will disagree with me.
If a man disagrees, it shows that his parents instilled in him that he is to be a gentleman above anything else, whether someone deserves his favor or not. While that's commendable, it's unfair.
If a woman disagrees with me, it shows that her parents gave her a false sense of "ENTITLEMENT" to think that she is allowed to be violent against a man and he cannot retaliate or he is not a man.

I don't mind if my opinion differs from yours but it's not said without understanding the consequences of domestic violence.
I have been a victim of domestic abuse... ONCE. I left the abuser. I'm not a man's punching bag and I don't make excuses for that kind of behavior. It is deplorable.
However, anyone pushing the agenda that "a man should NEVER hit a woman, even in self-defense" is wrong.
Typically, a man is a physical being and a woman is a mental being.
If a woman chooses to cross the line to being physically violent against a man, then a man has every right to use physical violence in return. If a woman takes the low road, a man doesn't have to take the high road.
I'm not saying that his force should be all he can dish out but it should be enough to stop/block her behavior. A man should never hit a woman FIRST.
Let's be honest, in today's modern society, most women aren't the little, petite, fair maiden stereotype. We are physically strong and can do physical harm to a man. Even if a woman is petite or weak, there are hundreds of ways that a woman can physically hurt a man.
Ladies, most of us want to be treated fairly and equally. If you expect to be violent against a man and he isn't allowed to defend himself, you don't want fairness. You want preferential treatment.
Don't think that, somehow, your gender "ENTITLES" you to expect a man to act as gentleman when you are not acting like a lady.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, man or woman, the shame is not yours to bear. It is not your fault. It is the abuser's fault. Seek help and remove yourself from the toxic relationship.

National Domestic Violence Hotline   1-800-799-7233

Opinions

I have a FB "friend" who is semi-famous (He's been on television and in the newspapers often. For good reasons.).  I "friended" him on the advice of my closest friend who really thought we'd get along.
He's a wonderful person and has a very open, outgoing, intelligent, spiritual (not religious), loving mind. That's what I love about him.
When he posts something on his wall, his other "friends" will agree with him. It's not the agreeing with his comment that drives me batty but it is really rare to see someone disagree with him or throw out their own opinion.
I'm not saying that their own opinions can't mirror his (he has some great opinions) but it's that their opinion really seems to be contrived because of who he is. "I agree, You're right, I just love it too", etc. It can be something as simple as a silly old movie or as intricate as the spiritual world. Gushing is what if feels like.
I don't actually know him personally (my closest friend does) so I could be wrong but, it seems to me, that he's intelligent and open enough that his friends are allowed to have their own opinions. I think he would even value differences in opinions.
Maybe it's just me. I don't want to argue with anyone over an opinion, if I can help it.  However, it would drive me out of my mind if everyone I know ALWAYS agreed with me.
My best friend and I do agree on A LOT of subjects. Sometimes family and friends will joke that we are the same person in 2 different bodies because we can finish each others sentences. Even if we haven't seen each other in a long time.
That being said, we can (and do) debate issues that we don't agree on and respect the other's opinion. We like that we know each other so well but do have differences.
I also have friends that are polar opposite of me. I think the differences are what attracted the friendship and now, even though we have nothing in common, we remain friends because they're fun to be around or maybe the differences are the things we're missing in our lives and we provide the missing element to each other.
It's not that I can't be star-struck. Robert Redford, Robert Pattinson, Jon Bon Jovi, etc. I might even get tongue tied at meeting someone famous (doubt it).
But I can't help but imagine that, if I were in their position, every time I met someone who couldn't speak to me or agreed with my every word and opinion, the moment would feel awkward and life would be fairly boring.
How are we to learn from each other or truly get to know people in our lives (famous people included) if we're too timid to disagree or give out or own opinion? Aren't differences to be valued?
Today, I leave you with those questions to ponder and one of my favorite quotes. "I don't tolerate diversity. I celebrate it." Author Unknown

Butterfly Kisses & Angel Wishes

When my children were little, as with most children, they had a nightly routine before being put to bed. This entailed taking a bath, stepping into their jammies, brushing their teeth, and having a bedtime story read to them.
However, unlike so many children in our area, our children were living in a two party religious belief household. This presented a problem as bedtime prayer is common and my children wanted to be like the rest of the children in the neighborhood. It wasn't necessarily the need to get on their knees with their hands clasped together pointing heavenward. It was wanting the norm of what the other children did and the closeness of a parent participating with them.
I was raised Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) and my then-husband was raised Catholic. Neither one of us were practicing our respective religions but still felt deep convictions when it came to who God is or what a prayer entailed and neither was about to bend on the subject but, not wanting our children to suffer an impasse, I devised a bedtime ritual that neither of us could find fault in.
At the end of whatever Disney book had just been read, I'd tuck each of the children in and then I'd start. We called them angel kisses (which I now know to be butterfly kisses) because they were as soft as wings on an angel. I would start fluttering my eyelash on their forhead, each of us making a wish. Repeating the wish process with each kiss placement, I would move to the chin, left cheek, right cheek, and nose. The ritual would then end with a traditional kiss.
My children are much older now and I can't even recall their ages when this ritual ended. Probably about the time that they decided that they wanted to stand out in a crowd. Not blend in. And I'm proud, as a mother should be, that my children are independant and free thinkers and that I'm lucky enough to have them in my life.
However, I can't help but cherish and miss the days when something so simple was the most highly anticipated thing in their day.